Grandeur Living

Aside from the usual breast support — bra designs can also entice the casual passerby, lover, or peeping tom. However, if you wear any of these pairs, you’re bound to get a weird look, or a laugh.

As if the environmentally-conscious Solar Bra wasn’t enough, here’s a look at some other weird and funny bras.

The Pointy Bra – We’ve got sports bras to keep ‘em in position when playing sports, we’ve got seamless ones for hiding the support in a nice elegant dress, but what about self-defense? The funny thing is, even if it might deter touching of some sort, the pointy bra won’t really fit in with your wardrobe. Unless your tops are pointy as well!

The Man-Designed Bra – Apparently if we let the men take over in brassiere design, they’d make it so that a pair of hands were always covering the twins. Even if it’s not theirs! So I would guess: in a funny man’s mind, are the hands the most efficient means of supporting the breasts? Even if normal man hands get tired, this bra won’t, and will probably keep its grip, as long as you wear it.

The Mixed-Messages Bra – Remember those annoying flashing LED shirts? Now they come in bra form! Even if you try to look away, the blinking and the moving and the changing LED lights will lead you to read: “DO NOT … LOOK … TITS.” Classy. Try to make them shake their funny looks!

Black Bra with Ruffles and red LEDs – Designed by enlighted, this funny pair of seemingly fiery bra is made with their corset-dress in mind. Mind you, the red LEDs simulate a sort-of ongoing burning effect, complimented by the LEDs in their corset dress, further enhancing that “burning” illusion. (Read: You are hawt!)

The Hypnobra – You provide the curves, the bra provides the rest. Twin spiral LEDs that oscillate can’t be wrong. (And no, I’m not under hypnosis.) The hypnotic patterns on both cups are a joy to look at, and will probably be a topic of conversation among your closest friends, once they notice that underneath that white blouse, something funny and sexy is going on.

That’s my take on funny and sexy brassieres — and if you ask me, I really, honestly wouldn’t mind trying a pair of any of them on. Just for the sake of the funny and sly looks that I’m bound to get!

Behind some of the most messed-up celebrities (and some who were able to cope) are some pretty messed-up parents.

They could be stage parents, parents who are going through separation, or just plain free-loaders, investing in their child’s celebrity status, so that, in time, their abuse will pay back its dividends.

Macaulay Culkin – Let’s start off with someone who was able to cope with his parent’s abuse. A celebrity since the age of 4, this child star made a hit as the cute and funny kid from Home Alone. The most famous and richest child star in history, he alone set the standard for how kids could be cute by interacting with his older co-stars. By the age of 13, he was already earning millions per project. By the age of 14, he was feeling burnt-out, with the so-so reception of The Pagemaster, Getting Even With Dad and Richie Rich, while it would appear that he lost his touch, some say that it the conflict between his parents was the main reason that he wasn’t doing so good. Behind the scenes, his parents were talking about separation, and whoever was in custody of Mack would surely get part of his fortune. In 1996, he declared that he won’t take in new roles until the issue with his parents gets resolved. By 1997, his father, Kit Culkin relinquished custody to his mother, Patricia Brentrup, and Macaulay only returned to acting nearly four years later, in 2001, on stage, in a London Production of “Madame Melville,” his teen years wasted, all because of his parents.

Jennifer Aniston – Her mother, Nancy, granted an interview about her daughter on tabloid television during the peak of Jen’s fame in Friends. As a parent, she should always take her daughter’s best interest in consideration, but instead, she abused it, and capitalized on it. Jen was so angry that she cut ties to her mom, even going so far as not inviting her for her wedding with Brad Pitt — in possible retaliation, her mother wrote a book, titled, “From Mother And Daughter To Friends: A Memoir.” It details how to cope with life when your celebrity child turns their back on abuse.

Drew Barrymore – She’s one of the most adored faces in movies, but suffered abuse at such a young age. Her father, John, left before she was born, and her mother, Jaid, was a picture of neglect. Which caused Drew’s early rise to stardom was also her downfall — an alcoholic by 9, marijuana smoker by 10, and snorting cocaine by 12, while her mother, who was also her manager at the time apparently did nothing. By 15, and after 3 rehab visits, a suicide attempt and recovery, she was able to get herself emancipated from her mother.

Lindsay Lohan – She’s currently in recovery, but that’s not to say her mother, Dina Lohan, wasn’t behind all that’s happened to her so far. The abuse she put Lindsay through is just … appalling. Capitalizing on her success to rocket-boost herself and Lindsay’s sister Ali to getting a reality TV show, isn’t something they should reward moms for. Which she did.

Britney Spears – The best for last. Now everyone wonders how she could be the same Britney from the 90’s, when she’s had A LOT of horrible news about her. Let’s not forget that, in her teens, she was already the family’s breadwinner. And if that kind of abuse doesn’t make you grow up a little messed up, what will?

Giving gifts is considered sexy already, so why not give gifts that are sexy? They can be the dirty little secret coming from the open-minded girl, or they can be the quaintest of surprises from the “shy” type.

To start, what qualifies as sexy gifts? It has to be something that evokes a smile, but not necessarily laugh-your-ass-off funny as well as sly and suggestive. Finally, it also has to make YOU happy, not just your guy. (For those who weren’t following, this is a girl’s gift idea list! But some might work for your girlfriend too!)

Sexilicious Pens – The name says it! Come on! Mixing “sexy” and “delicious” in one word? What the name doesn’t say though, is that the “ink” is made of smexy chocolate, with bare skin acting as paper. It can both be the ingredient of some sexy play, or garnish for the main dish! Hot chocolate — a sexy gift? You betcha!

Indiana Jones Soft Whip – With the latest Indy movie, comes more new merch! While not exactly the recommended use for this product, the box does scream, “Live the Adventure!” This is a meter-long soft whip. Plus, it makes the crackling sound a real whip makes, which makes it ideal for sexy s & m experimentation stages.

D*ck In A Box – The now-classic skit can always be seen just behind some of the major holidays. It’s a certified Timberlake hit! Labeled an official SNL product, the D*ck In A Box bring the fun in a hole-in-the-bottom-of-the-popcorn-carton humor — which makes it a pretty sexy gift. The absolute best part about this product is the packaging (see what I did there?) — it has drawn illustrations of the complete instructions for use, plus, the sub line reads, “We supply the box. You supply the rest.”

Skeeter Beeter Pro Hammock – If you’re the adventurous type and dislike the hammock burns after an afternoon “nap,” then this hammock is for you! Designed to keep mosquitoes and other insects out, it also obfuscates the dwellers within from public viewing. Requirements? Three deep-rooted trees, ice-cold drinks and a free afternoon.

Grand Get-Away – Can you spell hottest gift ever? “Two-piece-bikini-sun-swanky-resort-you-and-him.” If sexy material gifts aren’t your thing, then this might just hit the spot — what’s a more special present than an exotic experience in a foreign land? You could plan your trip online, behind his back, or enter this neat little contest I found, which might make the sexy gift better: FREE.

“Music is the universal language of mankind.”

-Henry Wadsworth

According to Henry Wadsworth, music is the universal language — how could we know? On record, do we know of other universes that listen to music? Though logic defies that quote, no one can argue that music isn’t recognizable.

Like books, (or any form or kind of expressive art) good music speaks tomes about a place, a person, or an event. They can instantly transport you from here to another realm entirely, simply on the level of a song being so recognizable, it transcends cultures, and pervades through existence, in our time or not. I’m not talking about “Happy Birthday,” which is the same in every country — I’m talking about songs that transport you, or move you, in a sense.

The Sound of Music, The Sound of Music – A common holiday favorite, this song instantly translates into the very recognizable scene of a perky girl, singing over lush grass growing on the hills of Austria.

Sun And Moon, Miss Saigon – Upon hearing this song, a feeling of unfathomable loneliness permeates through your soul, with the Vietnam War as background.

Over The Rainbow, The Wizard of Oz – A younger Judy Garland song that takes you on a journey of both familiar and new in the weird and scary color land of Oz.

Afraid of losing your job? So scared, in fact, that you end up doing a horrible, horrible job of at least trying to be competent? There’s a universe of difference between worrying about something, and having an anxiety disorder.

(You’re thinking, “ooohhh, Reneena made a comicbook reference. Well, I did have that phase! Plus, I might’ve been anxious as a young girl about growing up expected TO BE something. That’s another story on anxiety though.)

According to the American Association of Addiction Psychiatry, “In the case of anxiety disorders, the patient has an idea that his worries are irrational, yet he can’t stop having them.”

What the sinister six of anxiety does: the heart rate increases, breathing quickens, pupils dilate, muscles tense up, blood sugar levels shoot up, sweat, dizziness and overall queasiness. In the process of that, you may endanger the lives of others, or worse, your own life.

Simple Phobia: It’s an irrational and persistent fear of an object or situation. It could range from being in confined spaces — to fear of peanut butter! (Arachibutyrophobia)

Panic Disorder: This happens when a normal everyday situation for you turns into a traumatizing event. I have a cousin who tried to drink alcohol for the first time, and it hit him — so bad, in fact, that to this day, he’s still afraid of reaching the second bottle of beer.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder: They’re pretty much on the level of worry as far as panic disorder patients, just add obsession. Patients suffering from this anxiety obsess about how they can’t fulfill other people’s expectations of them. So much so, that they lose sleep over an off-hand comment, and generally make them much-less competent than they could be.

Social Disorder: We’ve come across people who are “shy.” Keeping to corners, attending parties and blending in with the background – who’s to say that something might actually be wrong with their confidence? Crippling one of man’s basic functions, that is, to socialize.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: If you’ve seen an episode of Monk, you’ll know how unproductive compulsions are. But the irrational obsession of doing an action a specific number of times may hinder someone’s ability to cope with the rest of his peers.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder: Some horrifying events that have happened to people, may in fact, anchor themselves so deep, that patients still relive them at any given moment, without regard for the safety of others.

Overcoming these Anxiety disorders take a lot of work, time and patience on the patient and the therapist’s part. But, to live a true grandeur life means that you don’t overlook other people’s needs, to satiate your own. Hopefully this has been informative for you as well.

The fashion scene is always charging with the latest design and so. People in this industry seem not to care about anything but the “it” next season. But then, there’s Karl Lagerfeld. He’s one of my favorite designers because his creations are fierce and elegant at the same time. Karl is fashionably unapologetic. My kind of man, what can say?

One day I’ve just seen him on some huge billboard with a slogan that says, “It’s yellow, it’s ugly, it doesn’t match anything, but it can save your life.” I know it’s a little too late for this reaction, but why would he ever do such a thing? I mean he could just organize a charity ball and get millions of donation from friends. Why would the French government even choose him?

And seriously, it’s yellow and I like it. I really beg to differ. I like his honorable intention on road safety, but come on! He should have worked on some other lines. It breaks my heart that he calls that thingy ugly. If he’s a great designer, he might as well try to match it with something, and not tell everybody that it’s just for life purposes only. Have you seen the catwalk? Oh yeah there are way more hideous designs than the vest.

Oh well, kudos to Karl Lagerfeld. He cares somehow. Too bad for the drivers and cyclists in France, the yellow ugly vest is mandatory. Don’t forget to bring that reflective triangle too. There’s only the other choice – don’t drive get a chauffer.

So they are famous and most probably very, very rich. Unfortunately, you are neither of the two. But you should be happy. This time you have an edge over them. Why? That’s because they have no sense of technology. Yup, that’s right! Some of the most famous celebrities are oblivious if the computer or mobile phone ever existed.

Tom Cruise. He might have played those famous characters with oh-so-advanced gadgets, but he seriously rejects cellphones and e-mails. However, he just lately tried to correct that fact. He set up a website so fans can send him e-mails. He gives in after all.

Simon Cowell. Yeah, that arrogant American Idol judge… might have a computer but he doesn’t know how it works.

Emma Thompson. She might be very fierce in Harry Potter movies but her must-have piece of technology is only a fountain pen. Oh, and she abhors those social networking sites. One of the reasons she doesn’t like the computer.

Vince Vaughn. Well-known for his comedy, but he doesn’t own a cellphone. He hates answering calls. Instead, he borrows phones from his buddies and only when it’s very urgent.

Paul McCartney. He’s a famous Beatle, but he doesn’t know how to use an ATM. He even prefers writing letters over e-mail.

Elton John. Famous since the 1970s, but you might want to throw tomatoes at him. He wants to shut down the Internet for five years. According to him, it will revive the good quality of art and music. Agree?

Larry King. That famous CNN blabber has never done any Internet search. But then, you can google him. Ironic.

Orlando Bloom. Aww… sweet Orlando doesn’t have a computer. Girls, he doesn’t want to deal with it! Sorry he doesn’t have any e-mail too.

Feel better now? Feel richer or even more famous than them now? Quite a feeling, huh?

Being environmentally conscious these days is the next big thing as to being trendy and fashionable. Everybody is talking about waste management, eating organic, riding hybrid cars and wearing “solar energy bra.” Say what?! Solar powered bra is helping save planet Earth? How’s that even possible? Do the breasts increase solar energy?

If you watch the clip below, you just can’t help but ask, “Why should it be a bra in the first place?” Could it not be a shirt or something else? You could rewind the video over and over again and still remain puzzled over the whole concept.

Like other people who have already watched, you might as well come up with reasons for this innovation. You just hope that others would want to agree with you.

The Solar Energy Bra is made because it is:

• A dovetail effort. Wearing it means absorbing more solar energy through the breasts. You don’t only gain energy but you also boost your boobies. Perhaps it triggers those cells right over there to increase their size as they become exposed to lots of sunlight.

• A green fashion statement. Forget those Victoria’s Secrets and all other push up bras. Solar-powered bra is the new black in lingerie. Like the model says, “It’s an eco-friendly effort.” Hey, being sexy can also mean being literally green and not just kinky green. Girls who heart the environment are smoking hot!

• Provides more handy power. You don’t need to worry about your cellphone losing battery hours. You can talk as long as you want. You can also plug your mp3 player and listen longer. Or if you are so into your hair, plug that hair dryer or curling iron right into your chest.

At the end of every repeat, you’ll still be really confused why the inventors ever thought of it. But as they would put it, the bra is the answer to high oil price. Would you even wear it? Maybe you would, for something like an environmental rally in front of the Department of Energy.

Somehow you will figure that the bottom line of this invention. It is not really about the real cause. It’s just a statement of some lingerie company. Perhaps it’s a way to let the world know that the company care about the environment and all that.

However, if you really want to care about Earth’s future, then start small. You’re really sure that this bra would cost you more than the usual push up. How about donating that certain amount to some environmental charities?

Besides if you would look at the bra, do you really think it will turn a guy on when he sees it? He might even think that you’re some kind of a geeky freak. The next thing you know is that you’ll be explaining why you even wear it in the first place. So spare yourself from that situation. Lose the bra. It will definitely save the two of you some energy in the process.

It is a fact that sooner or later the world will come to an end. No one really knows the exact time. It might be a huge nuclear eruption, a power earthquake or perhaps an unexpected war. Some people are already building a safety place, like a bomb shelter or a panic room. Just so in case you are really paranoid of the idea, here’s a list what you should store:

1. Lamps, flashlights and batteries – you have to expect that the power will be dead.

2. Blankets – you don’t need a pillow to go with them, but buy those ones that will really keep the warm.

3. Bottled water – store as much as you can. You can last a month without any food, but thirst can weaken you even for a day.

4. Canned foods – put Spam on the top of the list. It has been the number one food throughout wars.

5. Sugar and honey – sweet stuff but they last a lifetime. Just make sure that you store them away from moisture.

6. Clothes and towels – make sure they are plain and cotton. These include shirts, pants, jackets and underwear.

7. Candies and gums – little things that will help food supply last longer.

8. A transistor radio – it will keep you updated on what’s happening outside the shelter. Since there’s no power, TV and the Internet are useless.

9. Clock and a calendar – it will keep you up with time.

10. A journal and pens – who knows if you will survive or not, but you can tell the world about the whole picture after the tragedy.

Now, we all have our relationship mishaps. I really don’t believe that there are some of us who have been very faithful to their partners all the way, if ever there are still are, well good for them. I admit I have cheated on my lover in some occasions. I have my reasons eventually, which I really devise well to be believable. It sad but we have to accept it that cheating has no excuses, whatever justification there is to be redeemed from the situation.

But then again, let’s just try to make those excuses in case forgiveness and forgetting could be achieved one way or another. If you ask me, these are the ways that work best when being unfaithful:

1. “It’s not what you think.” This is the most classic excuse, although making up an excuse impromptu might be a little hard. So while you are doing a little naughty thing, run your mind like hell and come up with a good excuse. It may somehow ruin the moment, but hey you should decide with whom you want to continue a relationship.
2. “I’m a victim here.” You have to look the other way and put the blame on the person you’re getting jiggy with it. Try to make sense that you are just lured into the situation. Yes, it is hard to lie but consider it as taking a stand for yourself, although you might really lose big time.
3. “We are not working out anymore.” Play this card if you always wanted to break up all the while. This is the easiest but rude way to dis on somebody. But if you are that desperate and insensitive. What the hell, go for it!

I do not advice cheating because it does not only ruin the relationship, but there is a huge effect on the self. A lot of people have been destroyed because someone has been cheating on them, worse yet, they have been cheating. All in all, it is called guilt that might result in depression, aggression and even suicide. It will take a long time to heal unless you have already been in the situation many times. You don’t really mind doing it over and over again.